Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Being the Loner

I think I have always been a loner. Not that I wanted to be a loner. Maybe it is because I was just awkward as a child. I was and still am mischievous, uncertain and happy all at the same time. Can this be? I find that even as an adult I am somewhat of an outcast, I have always felt that my connection with people hasn't been so popular and I just don't know why. I find that I keep questioning myself as to why I put people off? Maybe I don't put people off, maybe I am just put off by them and I don't have to be bothered with them. And just sometimes I think I am right.

Ya see although I have the loner side, I also have a social side. I love being social in moderation. Even though I have that shy personality, when I perform it seems to come out like a big ole' boom. Maybe my being social is part of my performing. When i do perform I forget about being nervous and unsure and I just have a ball. I literally block it out. I am finally knowing who I am and for the first time I can admit that I am somewhere in the middle of it, I am just trying to get a shot of the sunlight.

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