All of them had style and grace that was passed down to them from both sides of the family and they taught that to their children...us. But this is about my mother and her beautiful mane and why she is my inspiration.
When I was lil I would watch her as she washed, conditioned, braided, pressed and rolled her hair. Even though it was straightened through a hot comb her hair was bouncy and alive and I wanted her hair. But my mother and I had different hair "types". If I had to compare my mother's hair to a "type" I would say 3B-3C and my hair is 4B-4C hell I really don't know, but what I do know is that she has looser curls than I do. I didn't know that my mother's hair and my hair is much more alike than not.
I remember quite well that she wasn't as nice to my hair as she was with hers lol. Not only was I tender headed she also had the most heaviest hand ever. She would throw her leg over my shoulder in order for me to sit still because she was braiding my hair while I kept fighting and pulling away. She would also smack my hand with the comb every time I would touch the part that she was braiding. There was a few times that I made a successful get away and she would just wait til I was tired enough to go back finishing my hair. Making sure that my hair would last for a good two weeks or so she would tighten the braids as she went along. My scalp was pulsating long after she was finished. Even though my scalp went through this rigorous torture at the end of the day my hair was growing.
My hair probably would be long as hell if I didn't get a perm at 12. The reasoning for me getting a perm at 12 is because my parents were separated for awhile and I was living with my dad. My father had always told me that I had beautiful hair like my mother and didn't want me to get a perm, but my self esteem told me that I didn't because my mother and I was different. Let me explain. When I was going to school and my mother would come to school to pick me and my brother up, she would take us to lunch somewhere in the neighborhood or show up early on a Friday just so she could hang out with us. When she came to our school everyone would look and say "That's YOUR mom?" I would say yes and they would respond "But she's so pretty." So my self esteem was shot at an early age because I was called ugly excuse me black and ugly on a daily bases. When I looked in the mirror I saw beauty, I saw my mothers beauty in mines. So was my self esteem shot? Only at moments. Let's just say I was a bit confused, and not knowing that people can be mean when they either don't understand you or want to be like you. *MESSAGE*
I did the perm in order to "fit in" with everyone else. After I permed my hair, lil did I know the whole time that my mother was yanking my hair, I had a nice length in getting a perm. What I didn't know was how to maintain the perm and since I was always natural and my mother took care of it why should I? My hair started to break off tremendously, especially the middle of my hair. My hair was getting shorter and shorter every time I went back to the beauty shop to get my hair relaxed. It was so bad I had to do the unthinkable, I got the Halle/Toni Braxton hair cut and just kept it short all throughout middle school and high school days.
As an adult, I have went back to my roots with my natural hair and it has been the most wonderful experience for me. When I went natural I transitioned without knowing what transitioning meant. I had had it with my hair. I was doing the whole home boxed perm, I had gone through a couple of weaves and I was stressed, my hair was stressed. At the time I was really depressed about my place in life. I moved to New York only to work like I was working back home, I was seeing other people making their dreams come true and I was stuck in a dead end job. I just wasn't happy. 2008 came and on a beautiful 4th of July, my friend had it with the way my hair was looking and she took the scissors and cut it. I felt scared, relieved, and what the hell am I gonna do with it!!!!!! But I knew that I didn't want another perm to touch my head again. My regimen was quite simple. Wash, condition and go. I didn't know what kinds of products to use so I went with anything that said moisturizing. At one time, I stopped washing my hair and just did the conditioner wash thing, but I found out that my hair likes the wash.
I really didn't know or understand what my hair needed so I went to my favorite hair stylist in the world and he washed, deep conditioned and trimmed/cut my hair. He said himself that this was the first time he's ever seen my hair so healthy, that made me feel good. This also was the last time I felt good because, my hair was going through some changes and I still quite didn't understand how to take care of my hair. I slumped back into a depression and stopped caring for my hair. I was also in a horrible relationship which may had a part in my depression, but I got out of that quick.
When I went through all of my old writings on "Dreams About Derek" I started writing everyday. Every chance that I could get, I started ordering lots of books and reading them, my mind got focused on finishing Derek and thats when I started to take care of my hair again and then soon after love found me. I had a burning desire to treat my hair with the utmost respect, and I found Youtube. With Youtube, I started to remember my mothers hair again. What I understand back in the late 70's and 80's they took care of their hair with the products that they had available to them. Since we have the opportunity to explore different products, oils, conditioners etc. on our hair, it's a lil easier for us. I went back to care for my hair like my mother took care of hers. My actual documented journey about my hair started via Facebook with a picture album I call "Yes Natty!" and yes that is coined. LOL! At the time when I put up this album I was doing it for my natural hair styles and now it's a journey that all of friends enjoy and expect me to keep it going.
This natural journey is a time consuming, tedious, exhausting work. But it is needed, and we need to love the good great kinky, tangled, thick full hair the lord has blessed us with. Show the world this is who we really are. Take care ya'll.
Chrystal L. Prather aka Stayls
YES NATTY!!!
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