Those Bill Clinton Days

Hey peoples,

This "looking for a job" thing is getting very old. I have ever in my life EVER looked for a job for so long in my life. I have had great jobs and great opportunities, but this time around life just seems not to be going my way. Trust me ya'll I have been taking my time and being wise with my decisions. I have decided to go back to school to finish my degree in mathematics. That's the only choice that I have and I am actually glad to be going back. Get my piece of paper and more.

I'll tell you one thing... those Clinton days I miss the most. I can get a job in 2 secs. Since I had and still have great work ethics, I was the desirable candidate. Welp, not anymore lol. Or at least I feel like I am not anymore. I do miss those days because I had held onto my own. Right now it seems like I have the most slippery hands these days. I have been on endless interviews, great endless interviews where I am almost getting the job and then in the mail here comes the letters. Ah shucks, I am even at the point where I don't feel as confident anymore in my interviews. My palms are all sweaty, I am sweaty all over and I sweat easily. I just want to hear a yes, and I'll prove myself all the way. And then some....

Boy Oh Boy do I miss those Clinton days where I could shop til I dropped, have lunch with friends and it didn't even break my pockets. Happy to go to work the next week because I knew my boss liked me and depended on me. Because I made the business money, perfect attendance and my attitude was in check. Now I can be all that and still under appreciated. Where did those days go and let's not blame it on Obama. Tons of people do that all of the time. Was it war, was it us being greedy and opening ourselves and lives to greedy people? I dunno. Where can we make things right for all of us.

Being the Loner

I think I have always been a loner. Not that I wanted to be a loner. Maybe it is because I was just awkward as a child. I was and still am mischievous, uncertain and happy all at the same time. Can this be? I find that even as an adult I am somewhat of an outcast, I have always felt that my connection with people hasn't been so popular and I just don't know why. I find that I keep questioning myself as to why I put people off? Maybe I don't put people off, maybe I am just put off by them and I don't have to be bothered with them. And just sometimes I think I am right.

Ya see although I have the loner side, I also have a social side. I love being social in moderation. Even though I have that shy personality, when I perform it seems to come out like a big ole' boom. Maybe my being social is part of my performing. When i do perform I forget about being nervous and unsure and I just have a ball. I literally block it out. I am finally knowing who I am and for the first time I can admit that I am somewhere in the middle of it, I am just trying to get a shot of the sunlight.

When Friends Break Your Trust

What is a friend? A friend is someone that you can trust, you can tell your secrets, someone one who understands your struggles and perserverence. Someone who knows the real you. And accepts you for who you are without question.

What if they broke that trust? Using those secrets that you told them against you in anger when you both had a fight? How can you trust them again?

I have a friend like that whom I love and had this situation but I was so scared from the experience that I truly just cannot trust this person again with anything in my life. I have to keep them at arms length. Even though I truly care for this person they just have done damage that is beyond repair. My mind is telling me to "trust them" but my heart can't do it. How does one get over this friendship treachery?? TIME!

2 Days after the twist out and rollers

FRIDAY the 13th and my new hairstayl!

Thank You Ladies and Dreams About Derek!